MASSACHUSETTS,

best part of the trip!

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Beliefs

So, my husband and I have been trying out churches recently. I've managed to convince him to get up Sunday morning and make a Sunday service at a newer church up the street from us. Not a great distance away, not super early, and service is done in an hour and a half. It's a more contemporary church- very diverse crowd, black, white, Asian, and less traditional hymns than I'm actually used to. But it’s a nice. The couple times we've been we've liked minister and his sermon.

But this past Sunday, we had a visiting minister, who categorized himself as a “southern Baptist minister”. On several occasions, the visiting minister brought up how accepting Jesus Christ as the son of God, makes you a Christian. This doesn’t bother me so much. It’s what Christianity has deemed as their basis. But what does get me is the negative inference that I hear a lot of Christians make as a result of that statement, “You must accept Jesus Christ as the son of God, or else you’re going to go to hell.” I even felt that the visiting minister led such an inference when speaking of his mission work. He spoke of doing missionary work in non-western countries, and how it worried him that as world events destroyed these peoples and their homes, they would be “lost” because they had not yet accepted Christ.

Yes, it’s a major doctrine in Christian belief, but why does the “or else” part have to be so damming and exclusionary? Why is there an “or else” part? What if I believe in God? One God only, and worship no others before Him? And I even try to live in His image through my everyday actions and thoughts? BUT I have my own set of beliefs on accomplishing that? So Muslims and Jews are just out of luck when they die? Who is Christianity or ANY religion for that matter to judge another religion?

In another part of the sermon, the minister claimed how diverse the Christian church had become with the many people from different backgrounds and cultures and how we should be open minded and respectful with all people and their cultures, accepting differences. Ok, hold up.

So another person believes in the same principles and values of a monotheistic religion. More so, the theology, some stories, and characters of their religion are very similar to my own, varying most likely because of culture. But. because they don't believe the WAY I believe, then they’re wrong? And furthermore going to hell? It just doesn’t feel right. What happened to accepting the differences?

The minister went on to tell a story. An American businessman and Muslim businessman started doing business together. The Muslim businessman noticed the American had a bible and being religious himself, asked if the American felt comfortable telling him more about his faith. The American did, and over the course of the next 6 months the two sat side by side, along with the bible and Koran, discussing the two books, and the faith that stemmed from each. At the end of the story, the Muslim decided he wanted to convert and went on to help 100s of his own people accept Christ.

Uhm, no.....

Why couldn’t the story end with the two businessmen realizing that their basic principles of faith were very similar although they embraced it in different ways- and that’s OK. And this blog isn’t to just call out Christians. There are other religions that are guilty of the same exclusions. Whether or not it is called Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Purple-ism, it just shouldn’t matter.

Sex in the City

If you know the littlest bit about me, then you would know that I am a Sex and the City FANATIC. I love the show, the stories, the fashion, the friendships. And I regularly (yes, regularly) watch the original episodes on demand. It just doesn’t get old to me. And that’s something, because I easily get tired of things.

Sure there are issues with the show. It focuses on a completely non-diverse group of women. These women ONLY ever take cabs. What kind of bill does that look like? Where are all the buses, trains, or other forms of public transportation? And pre-book deal, Carrie is a single gal, living in Manhattan, writing a column for a tabloid newspaper, and yet she dines out all the time and has a shoe collection that would rival that of a teenage heiress. Does that make anyone else raise an eyebrown? I mean honestly, that just doesn’t seem all that realistic.

But once you get over all that, what I love most about the show are the relationships. The relationships between the women, the relationships with men- I really feel that the show brings up real issues among people. The show does a neat job showing women’s reactions to challenges with men, other women, life events, and many times conflicts we have with ourselves. What I love most is the portrayal of the 4-woman friendship. These women prioritize their relationships with the gals. They regularly meet for dinners and drinks. They go out together, they shop together. They check up on each other. They show amazing loyalty to each other. They accept each other for who they are. I think people can agree that it’s hard to have a consistent group of friends, all geographically close, who all accept each other. Maybe it’s because these women are older? Who know’s. In the real world, close friends don’t always live so close, female personalities conflict, and relationships in general are just hard. But I will say, although it is only TV, it’s the fantasy world that I occasionally like to get away to.

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So what!

So, I just can't sit down. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don’t have kids yet, but dammit if I can’t sit still! A few weekends ago, the better half went out of town, and boy was I excited! No one to cook for but me, I could watch the movies I chose, and not worry about someone changing the channel, and no worry about my turn to use the computer. My plan was to catch up on ALL of season 2 of Mad Men, clean the bathroom, open a bottle of wine and order takeout, and not think about someone coming from behind and throwing it all off.

But it didn’t work! I woke up Sat late morning, started cleaning the bathroom, and thought, it would make sense to clean the other bathrooms, since you’ve got the mop, bucket, and gloves out already. When that was done I figured I was already messy, I might as well vacuum. Oh, and there’s dust over there, let me clean that. When I finally, stopped and sat down, I couldn’t help but keep getting up! And even when Mad Men was on, I found something to pick up, something to wipe down, or something to re-organize. I don’t get it. I’m disappointed in myself. I miss my laziness and ability to just say “so what!”

15 Things to Do Before You Have Kids

15 Things to Do Before You Have Kids

I thought this was a great article, and a further excuse as to why I am NOT ready to have kids!

FABULOUS

Let me take a moment and tell you about one of my very best friends. She's a beautiful young and intelligent woman . We struggled together to complete a major academic degree, and now she owns her own place, holds down a praise-worthy salary, owns TWO vehicles, and has supported both her sister and brother while they were in school.

When I think of this lovely lady, the word, "exotic" pops in my head. She grew up in a non-American culture and never fails to project that when you are in her presence. It's in her conversations, her home decor, her attitude. Never "regular", she has a dynamic taste that I've always envied. She ALWAYS dresses to the nine, with well put together outfits. I'm sorry, outfits don't do them justice, let's use the word- moments. And she only rocks the latest style when it comes to her well cared for tresses. On top of that her vacations are on an international level. (Most people dream of this) She is in a class above others.

But under all of her accomplishments and the aesthetics, she is a wonderful friend. She is funny, dependable, and a good listener. Most of all she is loyal, supportive, and trustworthy. I feel honored that she calls me friend (actually she calls me a BFF).

With all that going on, the final word I will describe her with is... FABULOUS!

Love you, babe!! :-)

Seeds of Spring

I'm super excited that the first day of Spring has arrived along with the up and down weather pattern that ushers in the upcoming summer season. This past weekend, we took full advantage and spent the entire day outside doing yard clean-up. We weeded, planted, trimmed, watered, raked, and shoveled. I planted 15 bulbs of things I've never heard of and with each burial, said a slight prayer to the planting gods to "bless these beds and produce healthy strong sprouts". The fresh air was calming and the already early blooms were picturesque.

We started composting last fall and our meager pile has grown into a huge 6x8x 1ft high pile of decomposed fruits, veggies, other table scraps, and dried leaves- which is actually great recycled fertilizer. The fun part was transporting it to a new area of the yard- lotta work!

So now, my next task is starting seeds. When we visited Massachusetts last fall, my new uncle-in-law gave me a bunch of seeds out of his garden to try in my own. Cone flower, Lamb's Ear, Hollyhock, Sweet William, Gaillardia, (don't be impressed- I googled all of them). It's too cold to sow seeds outdoors at this time of the year, so I got a little greenhouse kit and planted the seeds today. I'll keep them indoors until they sprout and get strong enough to hold their own, then transport them into the ground, late April- I think. I'm excited and nervous because I've never messed with seeds before. But it's neat to see something grow from scratch. It's most exciting just the trying and experimenting.

Hmmm.... Spring.

Need a new way to make tea?

I wanted to share a new step-by-step method that I recently got to try...
(I DO NOT at all condone re-trying this)

So you get a large pot. Nothing too big, but big enough for more than one cup. You don't want to have to wait to boil more water in the case you want a second cup! I like to use a kettle. It's easy to pour and audibly indicates when the boiling water is ready.

So you take the pot to the stove top, place it on an eye, then turn on an alternate eye to high. (Preferably, you should pick an eye with something sitting on it. Something that's only slightly heat tolerant, but DO NOT turn on the eye with the kettle- that's too easy)

Next walk away, take a seat on the couch, watch TV, and wait to hear the whistle from the pot.

Realize in about 15, no let's say 20 full minutes, that you haven't heard anything. Have your husband, significant other, friend, (doesn't really matter who) walk into the kitchen and say, "What is that smell"? Rush over and check why there's no whistle and what "that smell" could be. Stare at the stove for a second, puzzled.

Realize that since you turned on the control for the OPPOSITE eye the water in the kettle is NOT boiling and immediately see that the ceramic sugar storage jar is actually heating up. Even better it's currently sealed and full of sugar, so that's probably caramelizing away.

Immediately remove the sugar jar (preferably with a pot holder) and transfer to the sink. Unseal the jar, and surprise- bubbly, piping hot, homemade caramel is beginning to form ;-)

I would suggest immediately dumping the boiling, caramelizing sugar as soon as possible, before it hardens. Then rinse the jar and leave it in the sink to dry.

Laugh out out loud at yourself (and thank God, your house didn't burn down)

Return to the stove, turn on the CORRECT eye that sits UNDER the kettle. Remain in kitchen and wait for pot to whistle. The water should be ready in 5-7 minutes.

So I need to wash my hair...

So I need to wash my hair, but I'm too lazy to do it. And I don't want to half ass it. I've been taking better care of my hair lately and I want to keep it that way. For me that means a couple of things that I usually take for granted: Caring about my hair, paying attention to the hair dresser (ie watching her like a hawk), and minimizing or stopping the use of direct heat on my hair, which all hair types can agree is an easy quick fix with huge consequence.

So its been a long rough week at work, its time to wash, but its such an ordeal to wash my hair and roller set it myself (trying to limit, and if possible completely stop the use of blow drying). And then sitting patiently under the very low end, home version blow dryer I have just tops it all off! So why not just go to the salon and let them handle it?

The biggest thing that comes with managing hair is financial investment. Which is part of the reason I usually just "let it go". I can simply speak for myself and some African American hair owners. Bit its expensive! I'm one of the masses who gets a relaxer. The chemical treatment helps to "soften" the roots. I've been getting this done since I was 12, which has resulted in medium/ possibly shoulder length, straight, but fragile hair. It's a result of what I believe most black girls go through, and that's years of hot combs and blow dryer and not so great memory with mom, tears, and painful roots.
So 16 years, and almost $9000 later in chemical treatments, salon visits, and product, what do I have to show for it? What was that description I used earlier? ( shoulder length, straight, very fragile) hair. And I'm actually luckier than some women, whose hair sometimes falls out as a result.

So why even subject myself to the harsh choices of my own free will? Why not just keep it all natural? Well yes, Virginia, there is something called "natural hair" which it seems has always been a trend, whose popularity ebbed and flows. And I actually have three friends who have gone natural. Well where the relaxer shines in reducing hair care maintenance, natural hair soars in the hair care factor! So the first problem for "moi" is that I've got to start with hair thats pretty much done. I can only start natural hair from the root, I cannot magically transfer the hair I currently have back to its natural state. What does that mean? Time, patience, or sheer boldness! I have two choices, I can either go through what some websites call the "transition" phase- lol, or chop it all off- lmfao!

I mean, honestly it's a big sacrifice either way. The endurance of hoping people don't wonder if I've slowly gone psychotic as I try to work in new hair styles that combine both straightened hair and new growth- if I've lost you, that's not normal or desirable! And when I think of how I would manage it. I'd probably try the dominican option. Go get my hair blown out every two weeks. Or the occasional straw set. In any case we're talking a yearly financial investment of (drum roll) $1040 per year 2x as much as I'm paying a year for a relaxer! And that $1040 does NOT include the daily care products I will need to purchase and use. Say it with me now- Wtf?! And I've seen first hand what some of my close friends have gone through with the natural transition. Now they have it under control and beautiful looks, but there were times of bold attempts and giving up and getting relaxer, that I watched them go through. And even today, despite, making it through the transition, the cost of maintenance product is sometimes comparable to a large sum. Oh yes, and there's one more point- when I brought up the idea of me going natural to my new hubby, I swear I got a threatening response, not too far off from divorce.

So for now I am resigning to dealing with what I have. But I'm being smarter about it (i guess?) There's a hair cuttery that just popped up by my house and does black hair! And guess what they charged me for a simple wash and set? $25!!!! Some salons charge 2x that. So for now hair cuttery has at least helped soothe the burden of my hair care routine. Although I'm sure the frustration of dealing with my hair is not over!

The Hand Dipped

It’s an amazing dessert. Simply put it’s bliss. And no, I’m not exaggerating. I call it the Hand Dipped- A Costco creation.

Fresh, homemade vanilla ice cream, frozen into an individual, perfectly portioned treat on a stick. This wonderful dessert is then “hand dipped” into a vat of warm chocolate, which immediately hardens into a delightfully delectable, candy shell. The final step is to roll this little gourmet delicacy through freshly crushed, lightly sugared pecans.

Mmmmmm…. it makes me shudder to think about. Have you ever had one?

It’s one of those indulgent activities that I engage in every so often. After a long day at work, or a particularly exhausting day of cleaning; a reward after a really good day of eating healthy or to finish off a nice dinner out; hell, sometimes, it’s just ‘because’. Sometimes the hand dipped is just that chocolate fix I need.

I may sound obsessed right now, or even slightly mad, but until you’ve done the hand dipped, and let the taste comfort you for the 5-8 minutes that you enjoy the dessert- don’t judge.