Ten years ago this time of year I was being shipped off to my school. I remember the prior weeks of packing, the imagining of how my room would look, the dread of worrying about getting along with my roommate. How overwhelming it was to start in this new world. And by myself? I mean yes, I was somewhat independent- part time job (i.e. a tax payer), come and go as I please (well, since I’m a girl, that’s a very loose, “come and go as I please”), had experienced having a “boyfriend”. Over half of my arguments with my parents at this point were now me trying to defend why I “didn’t need them”, but this time it was different.
You don’t come home to mom and dad anymore. I could no longer turn up my nose at a home cooked meal, help dad in the yard on the weekends, hang out with the people I shared high school with. There was a lot I’d have to figure out and deal with on my own.
So, my husband I spend our Saturday going up to Frostburg to help my sister get settled in. By the time we arrive, my parents and her have moved all the big stuff in I help my sister put up some posters. I work on setting up the Internet connection with her computer. My dad is simultaneously looking through her schedule. When he asks her how she knows what buildings to go to, she’s not sure, so I find a couple of maps in some Welcome handouts, and then begin writing down the right building for her classes, so she can easily reference my notes later. I then proceed to help her find the laundry room, show her where her RA’s room is, explain to her what an RA is. I know I’m telling her a lot at once, but she needs to know all this, right? I’m only being helpful. At one point, my husband pulls me aside and says, “You see your sister is getting overwhelmed, don’t you? You’ve got to give her space, let her go… She’s an adult now.” I brush him off, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. “I have to. She needs my help.”
At that same moment, I glance over as she and my mom are putting away waters in the micro-fridge. I notice my sister has developed into a gorgeous young lady. She has curves like a woman. She is taller than my mother, and has developed her own very unique and cool style. She seems a bit unsure, but I realize I can’t stay here with her throughout the semester. Half the experience of college is finding it out on your own. She IS AN ADULT. If I don’t stop “helping”, she’ll never know how to start taking care of herself. She’ll never know how to LIVE.
So I stop. javascript:void(0)
And when we finally get ready to leave, my sister asks, “What am I supposed to do tonight?”
I simply say, “Unpack, prepare for Monday, and have fun.”
