Crack-head

So I’m signed up for this aerobics class.

At times it can be really fun. I got fooled into that early on! You go in there, you get a sense of girl power, you think, “this isn’t exercise, it’s dancing and it’s darn fun!” So at the beginning, I’d say for about a month, I was really into it. I was going 2-3 times a week and then I started dropping off because of a busy schedule, inconvenient class times, and most of all laziness.

I have these cycles too. I get really motivated and do really well for a month. Then I slow down the next month and go half as much and then I go like the next two months one or two times total. And then the cycle of motivation begins again! I could never understand how the “regulars” did it. Every Tues and Thursday or Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. I mean, I got so unmotivated as quickly as I become motivated. And what made it worse was that the teachers were so damn happy! They seemed to live for their classes. Some were so good they could bring up current event topics during a routine. They start shouting, “1 and 2 and 3 and Hey did anyone see ‘Dancing with the Stars’ last night? Boy was it good!” I think I heard one time that exercise is supposed to create/ stimulate endorphins and endorphins make you happy, but it didn’t seem to work for me. I honestly would be in the middle of a high intensity workout barely keeping up with the “top of the curve” routine; I’m ‘sparkling’ profusely; I’m in pain, thinking about the beach I’d rather be lying on; the instructor is telling us to “lift higher!” or “push more!” and I think to myself- this chick has got to be a crack-head; how can she keep going?!

So why am I bringing all of this up? Well I’m in one of my cycles again- the unmotivated month- and I’m wondering what I can do to inspire myself. I wonder what it would be like to become a crack-head (aka the aerobics instructor). I mean think about it… you get paid to be fit; paid to stay in shape. One of my biggest motivators in life is money! While it doesn’t necessarily drive me it certainly gives great directions. So can cash be an inspiration to workout? If I can move from student to teacher, then not only am I OBLIGATED to go, I’m financially bound. More importantly, it’s a goal. I’ve always worked out for the reasons of “I want to be in better shape,” or “I want to fit a smaller size” but it doesn’t keep my attention. Maybe if I try to set the goal of training to become an instructor? I certainly don’t want to get up there and embarrass myself and cycles can’t occur for a regular instructor (right?). Who knows if I’d ever really make it, and this may just be a new entry for me in my ever repeating cycle, but wouldn’t it be tremendous if it worked? Guess we’ll see….